My September in Emotions
I haven't been blogging lately and little pieces of my life just seem a bit off. It’s now just the end of September and I'm finally just checking in to my blog. Sad, but true. There’s been so much going on lately, and this past month has been nothing but a whirlwind of emotions, things to do, projects, work, and worries. I feel like I started off the year great and then June hit and something just wasn’t working for me anymore. But I still haven’t figured out what. So I thought I would let you guys know what’s been going on through how I’ve felt in the past month. It’s been a real roller coaster on the emotions scale folks, so be prepared.
I have felt:
To be in my own place, that so far is coming along nicely. I can’t wait to move get situated so that I can show you guys what I’ve been working on the last month.
If I could’ve taken a month off and remodeled this house I would have been moved in already, but I had to work on top of trying to paint and clean. Throw in 2 weeks of house sitting, and it feels like I will never get moved in. It took us 8 hours just to lay down one rooms worth of flooring.
That my little brother took a week off to help. Now that may not be his entire reason for taking it off, but he literally did ¾’s of the painting. I am so thankful for that. I did a room and a half and I already hated it.
While I love that my brother helped, there were times that I was also really angry with him. And then angry in general. I'd get so frustrated that every time it felt like we were getting somewhere, something seemed to set me 10 steps back. I would buy the supplies and get started, but when I wasn’t there rushed work was done. I would get the holes patched up, and then no one would sand the area down before painting. I spent more money when I didn’t feel like I would need to if people had listened.
Honestly about money. I know that I’ll be okay because I’ve been saving for a couple of months for this. Once you spend those large amounts though, it’s hard not to be worried. I honestly spent more than I thought I would need to.
It’s common for me to feel a little lost during the summer. I work in the moving industry, and it is our busiest time of the year. This year however, I have felt a little more lost than normal. Not only at work but in my personal life too. So many great things are happening to people and I’m just over here eating a muffin top. I don’t know what I’m doing at my job, I’m floundering in the blog world, and my personal life is practically nonexistent. I’m just not sure how to pull myself out.
Not in the sense that I feel sick, but that I’ve been eating so much crap food. Literally all I’ve been eating is pizza and fast food because I’ve had no time to cook anything. I’ve been trying to eat salads for lunch, but sometimes I just don’t leave for lunch. A while back I had been subscribing to a thing called Meals and Go, which was fresh food in individual sizes. I would have been eating the crap out of those things, but they just randomly shut down with no return date in sight. It’s been like 6 months.
The green monster of jealousy is striking something fierce in me this last month. I have been jealous of so many things that I don't even know how to process what is going on. I get jealous that people seem to have the time to write gorgeous posts. I am jealous that in the last quarter alone, everyone in my company got an actual vacation but I can't take one. I don't know what this is, but I don't like it.