I've been facing something over the past few months that I hoped I'd never have to face; blogger jealousy. It's not over one simple aspect of blogging or social media, it's over all of it. And when I caught it, I caught it bad. The big green monster of jealousy came whipping her head around and bit me real hard.
I kept trying to figure out where I had been going wrong, and where everyone else had been going right. I was watching small blogs around me grow, and mine flop. Even when I was trying my hardest and posting like no tomorrow. I would come home and do nothing but write posts, comment on blogs, and schedule social media but nothing seemed to be working.
I would get so excited when my post would reach 20 page views, but then see a post where someone else had gotten 12,000 on one post. I was discouraged over every little thing. I started to get mad at other bloggers; and eventually stopped blogging all together.
Then I entered the state of self doubt. Was my content really that bad? Was my design bad? Am I not Niche"y" enough for the internet?? Do I need to focus my work? Why can't I get readers? And HOW do they just keep getting more? So I joined classes and went to webinars that would help me get thousands of followers. I fell for the oldest sales tactics around, but didn't know why and still ended up with an average of 5 page views a day.
I went through my Marsha phase; blaming everyone but the person in the mirror. I critiqued every post I read and got jealous over the responses that these other bloggers were getting.
I was creating my own world of blogger jealousy.
Why though, was I having such a bad reaction? So like any partial type A person, I sat down and wrote a list of reasons why I would be jealous of these other bloggers.
- I've been blogging for 5+ years, and that person has only been doing it for 2 months and they have 5 times the amount of followers.
- This person blogs for a living. I work a full time job and a part time job.
- This person has someone to take pictures of them.
- This person has 50+ comments on a post about music they listen to.
- This person has 2,000 followers on snapchat.
- How much did they make in a month for selling an e-course that tells you information you already know?!
- This person gets the coolest brands to sponsor content, and I get stuck with people who don't want to pay me.
I kept adding and adding to the list, writing down even the pettiest of things like how there were 3 misspellings, but they still probably had 50,000 page views. I kept telling myself that I couldn't have been the only person to have blogger jealousy. So I looked it up on Pinterest, and found an article about it from Hello Hustle.
They had 3 short and simple ways to get over it. But did I? NOPE! It was still there! So I re-read the article 5 more times, trying to figure out what I magical life lesson I could learn from this. I liked two out of 3 of their options of how to get over it. There had to be more than that though, and I started thinking of ways I could improve them and eventually get over my jealousy.
Ask them for help.
This is the hardest thing anyone has to do, but asking for help is not admitting defeat. Go to the blogger that you are jealous of and ask them for help or advice on what you can do to your site. Nine times out of ten that blogger is going to give you better advice than all of those webinars you have been studying. Or maybe you just need them to tell you where you're going wrong, in order to figure out how to get to right. But don't be afraid or mad at constructive criticism, sometimes you need to hear it.
Collaborate with them.
Guest post on their blog or ask them to post on yours! Ask if they're hosting a link up that you can join in on, or ask if they would be willing to collaborate in some other way. Sometimes letting someone know that you admire what they are doing and working with them, is more effective than just giving up.
Use them as Inspiration.
If they make you jealous, maybe you want to be just like them. Now i'm not saying to copy all of their post ideas and pass them off as your own. But look at how they are branding themselves. Look at the graphics they post and their layouts and use them as inspiration to do something similar.
Don't unfollow them just because you're jealous.
Just because you unfollow them, doesn't mean that you stop being jealous. And we all know that you still look at their page whether you follow it or not. So don't unfollow them, because then all of that inner hate fire is gone and you may never know the opportunities that you could have had.
Find others who feel the same way, and work together.
Sometimes you need to find other people to help you paddle in the sea of the internet. Find a group or tribe of people who feel just like you do and collaborate with them. Help each other out by promoting content and having discussions on what everyone could be doing better. Finding others who are in the same boat as you, makes it relatable and maybe, just maybe, you won't feel like the only one not getting page views.